Who am I?

Tuesday, November 25, 2014
            As Thanksgiving is quickly approaching I am urged to finally write out some of my thoughts on thankfulness in this season of my life. Last month the love of my life asked me to spend forever with him. I said yes, and I just kept thinking- who am I to get to be a part of this story? Who am I to get to love and be loved by a man this wonderful? Who am I to get to have a story that I am so excited to share? Who am I that I get to be a part of writing such a great story in the days to come with my best friend?  I do not deserve it. I do not deserve Ben. But you know the other story and even better story that I do not deserve? The story where Christ loves me so much that He constantly pursues me, that He died for me, that He wants to write an epic story with each day of my life that I am just itching to share. I am so grateful that Ben's love and our story is such a reminder to me of Christ's love and His story. Who am I to be a part of that? I am oh so thankful for that fact that I am.
Here is our engagement story if you want a little glimpse into the kind of "story" I am talking about.

 If any of you know me at all, you know that I like plans. I like calendars and knowing what is happening hour by hour. The trick was I also wanted to be surprised when Ben asked me to marry him. Surprising an “I need to know the schedule” person can be a real trick, yet it was clearly a trick Ben was up for!
For those of you who do not know, Ben is living in Arkansas, and I am living in St. Charles, IL. That is about 9 hours apart. If he was going to surprise me and travel 9 hours, then that was going to be challenging. There were a few weekends that I thought he was maybe going to ask, and I would tell a few friends “maybe it’ll happen this weekend.” However, those times passed and he did not ask. So it was well into October and the rest of my weekends were booked in St. Charles until the middle of November. On one of those weekends, I was going up to Lake Geneva, Wisconsin with our high school youth group for the Fall Retreat. I was, at the time, working in high school ministry at our church and had done a lot of planning for the retreat, so I was going to be very focused, busy, and unable to talk to Ben much.
Saturday we arrived in Lake Geneva and were having a blast. It was a beautiful fall weekend in one of the most adorable towns in the area. That evening we were finishing up a session, and I was hanging around with a few leaders when the youth pastor Sterling came in. He said “Hey Paige, some kid fell by the cabins. Could you run to the dinning hall and get some ice?” I said, “Sure, Alexandra (another leader) and I can go.” Sterling quickly replied, “Actually I need Alexandra for something else.” So I started walking and on my way another leader, Alli, stopped me. Alli asked where I was going and if she could come along.  Of course, I said yes! I was not about to walk to the dining hall alone in the dark.  I had talked to Alli before about when I thought a proposal might happen, so as we were walking I said “Alli, I know this is not healthy, but what if Ben is here and this ice thing is just a way to get me to him? I know that isn’t true and I shouldn’t think that way.” Alli being so sweet and not knowing what was about to happen said, “You don’t think Ben would propose in the dining hall do you?!” I said, “No way.” (Also you should know that I was wearing a pumpkin turtleneck, and Alli was wearing an apple turtleneck. It was the right thing to wear on a fall retreat.)
We walked a little further and off to the left there was a gazebo with beautiful white lights and BEN! I gasped and said, “No!” because I could not believe he was actually there.  I would later find out that this freaked Ben out! When he got down on one knee, though, I started saying, “Yes!” I was totally surprised. Ben had already asked permission for me to go out to breakfast with him the next day, and he had planned with my parents to come back to our house Sunday night. It was such a dream come true. Literally.

Of course our story goes much further than just the engagement. But again. Who am I to get to be a part of such a great story? 

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