This is the part of the movie after everyone has been killed and I am the only person still alive. I am creeping around a ghost town trying to find out if anyone is still alive or if it is just me.
I could not, for the life of me, remember what my most recent blog post was about. What a good one Paige! A lot of time, life, snow, school, and mornings have gone by since we last met. I think I made myself vow to never apologize for a gap in blogging land. So here I am. Not apologizing.
We could rewind and recap the past semester? I don't know if I want to do that right now. I am already a decent way into my second semester as a senior. In fewer than 90 days I will be done with my undergraduate career (that is counting weekends and spring break, don't think that I am a person all about countdowns- because I'm not. I do not think it is healthy to constantly be looking for something to be over and the next thing to come. However, this kind of countdown is with the perspective that I have so few days in this season and I want to make them epic. ). Right now I want to breathe deeply. I want to soak in the richness of this time. I want to embrace each day, knowing that this place is so dear to me and so soon I will be gone.
I had the chance to go home last weekend. As I was driving around Chicago I got the picture of the forrest that is IWU. If you know anything about IWU you know I do not mean a literal forrest. I mean that I was able to step back and see the bigger picture. It was good to pull away, to zoom out and not just see each tree but see the beauty of the whole forrest. I cried. This trip has been incredible. I am thankful for 80 some days to still live it up.
My futon
Tuesday, August 6, 2013
This morning I realized how epic my futon has been in the past three years. Lets rewind for a second. Ok, I am like 6 or something and my best friend Kelli gets a sweet new bed. I actually went to the bed store with her family to look for beds. It was a couch/bed on the bottom and a bunk on top! It was epic and would be the best for sleep overs. I loved it. Kelli kept getting headaches and they thought maybe it was because she was sleeping so high up. So they needed to sell the bed. I don't remember how my family decided to buy it, but we did. AWESOME!
Anyways, I slept in the bunk part for awhile, and sometimes I would sleep on the bottom. I am pretty sure Alex took the top bunk (we called a crib) to college for a while. I think Grant lived on the futon for a while. It is weird to think about now since I have had the futon in my loving care since I started college. I knew it would be a great couch and IWU has dorm rooms big enough to contain it. So, my freshmen year it started a new story. I remember having 4 girls sitting on the futon, other girls sitting around in chairs and on the floor and just getting to know each other our freshmen year. That year I also started having morning quiet time with Jesus and coffee, on my futon. I had a crazy flash back this morning as I did that very thing again.
Every year I have (along with help) disassembled and reassembled this sweet spot. The list of people who have helped me put it together and take it about is really funny. So many sweet hearts. I am so thankful for supportive, helpful men in my life over these past 3 years. But in all reality these men are doing themselves a favor by helping set it up.
Life has happened on this futon. Not only is it a beautiful spot for my alone time but it has fostered community more than I even realized. Countless ladies have sat here with me, or spent a night on this mattress. We have laughed until we thought we would pee our pants, we have cried tears that felt like our heart was being stabbed, we have processed falling in love, breaking up, changing majors, family issues, and adjusting to new seasons. I vividly remember having a giddy conversation with Steph on my futon last year after Ben and I kissed for the first time. I have held residents as they cried from pure exhaustion and confusion. I have had hard conversations. I've spent late nights and early mornings. We have pulled it into a bed for sleepovers and lazy days.
I am incredibly thankful for the long conversations that easily trump homework or sleep. I am thankful for each of the relationships that have come in and out of my life in the past 3 years. In my fourth year I want this place to be a spot where people can come and be courageous enough to be fully themselves. I want to invite others into vulnerability to do life in the best way possible. I want to love well. I pray that I will be able to listen when that is all is needed and give wise advise when it is right. So come, put your feet up. Relax. Lets talk. Lets do life. The futon is up and ready in Beckett Hall for is fourth and final year here at IWU.
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Anyways, I slept in the bunk part for awhile, and sometimes I would sleep on the bottom. I am pretty sure Alex took the top bunk (we called a crib) to college for a while. I think Grant lived on the futon for a while. It is weird to think about now since I have had the futon in my loving care since I started college. I knew it would be a great couch and IWU has dorm rooms big enough to contain it. So, my freshmen year it started a new story. I remember having 4 girls sitting on the futon, other girls sitting around in chairs and on the floor and just getting to know each other our freshmen year. That year I also started having morning quiet time with Jesus and coffee, on my futon. I had a crazy flash back this morning as I did that very thing again.
Every year I have (along with help) disassembled and reassembled this sweet spot. The list of people who have helped me put it together and take it about is really funny. So many sweet hearts. I am so thankful for supportive, helpful men in my life over these past 3 years. But in all reality these men are doing themselves a favor by helping set it up.
Life has happened on this futon. Not only is it a beautiful spot for my alone time but it has fostered community more than I even realized. Countless ladies have sat here with me, or spent a night on this mattress. We have laughed until we thought we would pee our pants, we have cried tears that felt like our heart was being stabbed, we have processed falling in love, breaking up, changing majors, family issues, and adjusting to new seasons. I vividly remember having a giddy conversation with Steph on my futon last year after Ben and I kissed for the first time. I have held residents as they cried from pure exhaustion and confusion. I have had hard conversations. I've spent late nights and early mornings. We have pulled it into a bed for sleepovers and lazy days.
I am incredibly thankful for the long conversations that easily trump homework or sleep. I am thankful for each of the relationships that have come in and out of my life in the past 3 years. In my fourth year I want this place to be a spot where people can come and be courageous enough to be fully themselves. I want to invite others into vulnerability to do life in the best way possible. I want to love well. I pray that I will be able to listen when that is all is needed and give wise advise when it is right. So come, put your feet up. Relax. Lets talk. Lets do life. The futon is up and ready in Beckett Hall for is fourth and final year here at IWU.
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Disconnected
Sunday, July 7, 2013
This summer I have been disconnected. I am in an element that I am not use to. It started when I had to live in Martin for a week. It was a humbling experience to live in a dorm and not "have the keys". My internship does not play to my strengths and I find that frustrating. Last summer I was totally in my sweet spot and thriving. This summer, I am enjoying what I am learning but I am not fully able to best use my skills and talents. However, that is growing me a lot.
On vacation (oh yea I went on a Mediterranean cruise) I was disconnected from the internt and my cell phone. It was funny to have to plan with my family when we were going to meet places because we could not just text each other. It was also very freeing.
Now back on campus the house I live in still does not have internet. The other day on facebook I saw some one post about how they found out they wont have internet or cable in their house for a week and it was going to be terrible. I don't even think about cable. In college it has become so not a thing in my life. However, the internt very much is a thing in my life. I use it a lot. This summer I do not. I am lucky that I can just pack up my computer and bike over to the student center. Even if it is closed I can get on from outside the building. However, it is another little step to think about. When I think about something I want to look up- I cant just go grab my computer and pull up google. I have to save the thought till I can go get internet. Yes, I can use my phone and I do sometimes. I use to to check facebook and twitter etc. But I am not a big blog reader on my cell phone and I am not really into researching things on my phone. So those things get pushed to the "remember for when I get on the internet" burner.
I have to be intentional with my internet usage. It reminds me of going to Kenya when we would pay for each minute of internet.
So I read a lot. Which is good. Let me know if you need any book recommendations.
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Anyways. I have felt disconnected in a lot of ways. I have hit some pretty low lows and experienced some growing pains. But I have also seen the Lord in a lot of ways too.
I said goodbye to my boss, mentor, and one of my best friends (all the same person). But so many relationships have grown in ways that they would not have if I was not here.
The quantity and quality of rest that I dreamed of has not happend yet but in these next few weeks I want to fight for them.
On vacation (oh yea I went on a Mediterranean cruise) I was disconnected from the internt and my cell phone. It was funny to have to plan with my family when we were going to meet places because we could not just text each other. It was also very freeing.
Now back on campus the house I live in still does not have internet. The other day on facebook I saw some one post about how they found out they wont have internet or cable in their house for a week and it was going to be terrible. I don't even think about cable. In college it has become so not a thing in my life. However, the internt very much is a thing in my life. I use it a lot. This summer I do not. I am lucky that I can just pack up my computer and bike over to the student center. Even if it is closed I can get on from outside the building. However, it is another little step to think about. When I think about something I want to look up- I cant just go grab my computer and pull up google. I have to save the thought till I can go get internet. Yes, I can use my phone and I do sometimes. I use to to check facebook and twitter etc. But I am not a big blog reader on my cell phone and I am not really into researching things on my phone. So those things get pushed to the "remember for when I get on the internet" burner.
I have to be intentional with my internet usage. It reminds me of going to Kenya when we would pay for each minute of internet.
So I read a lot. Which is good. Let me know if you need any book recommendations.
.JPG)
Anyways. I have felt disconnected in a lot of ways. I have hit some pretty low lows and experienced some growing pains. But I have also seen the Lord in a lot of ways too.
I said goodbye to my boss, mentor, and one of my best friends (all the same person). But so many relationships have grown in ways that they would not have if I was not here.
The quantity and quality of rest that I dreamed of has not happend yet but in these next few weeks I want to fight for them.
That one time
Tuesday, May 14, 2013
That one time I had finals.
That one time school was over and we had all RA things at the end of the year.
That one time we made a kick butt music video and had the best time doing it.
That one time I have no idea how I have so many various outfits for each scene.
That one time I really like the boy I am dating.
That one time I am now a senior in college. (WHAT)
That one time I started my internship for this summer.
A lot of my friends left/ some of them graduated
I will be sore a lot from work
I will/already have wicked tan lines
I so know it is exactly where I need to be this summer. REST
I went from people to plants.
I moved dorms only to move again when I am back
I am home for a few days trying to do everything and see everyone
I am leaving the country tomorrow.
I am super excited and ready for a crazy adventure.
That one time I am covered in grace and redemption and restoration and love. (Jk thats all the time)
That one time school was over and we had all RA things at the end of the year.
That one time we made a kick butt music video and had the best time doing it.
That one time I have no idea how I have so many various outfits for each scene.
That one time I really like the boy I am dating.
That one time I am now a senior in college. (WHAT)
That one time I started my internship for this summer.
A lot of my friends left/ some of them graduated
I will be sore a lot from work
I will/already have wicked tan lines
I so know it is exactly where I need to be this summer. REST
I went from people to plants.
I moved dorms only to move again when I am back
I am home for a few days trying to do everything and see everyone
I am leaving the country tomorrow.
I am super excited and ready for a crazy adventure.
That one time I am covered in grace and redemption and restoration and love. (Jk thats all the time)
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