In the mean time

For my communication lab class I am writing a blog. I am going to go out on a limb and guess that because of this new blog this blog will not be posted on as frequently. Maybe I am wrong....but just in case.. this is the link to the other blog.

calledtokoinonia.blogspot.com

Enjoy! 

A Challenge

This is me. Ready for the day. You might say. "Something is missing". Good job. It's make up. This week is beauty week in North Hall the goal is to redefine what we consider beauty. To focus on the kind of beauty that Christ calls us to radiate. To challenge myself this week I am going without make up. It is absolutely ridiculous how challenging it really is. In Africa to not wear make up it is no big deal for me. But, here, in everyday life, it is a real challenge.

Shamrock

Today is the day. The day of the letters, and the day of the shamrock shakes. Letters offering RA positions came out today. Last year Kim and I started the tradition of going out for shamrock shakes. We continued that today. It was beautiful.

This morning I went to class at 7:50. Then promptly turned my phone off. I knew that I would be getting text messages saying that the letters were out and I would not be able to get to mine until almost 11. When class was finally over I went to my mail box...got my letter...and went to the chapel to open it. I want to be alone and in a quiet place where I could talk to God no matter what the letter said. I opened it up and I was offered the position that I currently hold. RA of North Hall E1E. I am so humbled and so grateful. I am so excited to be able to work alongside Emily again and to serve in this great hall.

I took time this afternoon to just rest and to quiet my heart and mind. It was beautiful and God really spoke to me in that time of stillness. He reassured me to trust in His answers and in His plans. Next year will surely bring new challenges and probably some of the same challenges but as long as I stay in a place  that I am willing to be a servant to glorify Him it will be wonderful. God is so faithful.

Valentines Day

love. For rare situations I woke up at 5:45 on valentines day. Put valentines outside the doors of all my residents. I love them. I put on my valentines day socks. I went to staff breakfast. I love them. Then I went to class and did those not so exciting things. I had lunch with a resident and coffee with another. I thought "oh I'll just sit in McConn after and do some homework." I remembered why that never works. I had so many great conversations. I got all dressed up for my dinner date with Noelle to Baldwin. It was cute. We had a great talk.I was on duty for the night. Here are some pictures/video footage from the day.

 My great socks from the college mom's care package. 

This great guy came over to play some tunes for me. It was a little dreamy. I feel like I've known Kenny for years. He is so fun.

Paige's Personal Retreat

I went on a retreat. Definition? Retreat: An act of moving back or withdrawing. That is what I did. I moved back home for the weekend. I withdrew from college life for a few hours. I turned off my phone. I didn't open my computer. I did not check my e-mail. I did not go on facebook. I withdrew and I got quiet. It was exactly what I needed. It is so vital to be able to understand yourself enough to know when you need to take a step back and when you need to retreat.

Side note story: My Dad had just gotten back from a conference for work in California on one of the handouts there was a type that said "Report and Spa". It gave us a good laugh. Clearly it was a resort and spa. I then titled my weekend a report and spa.

I literally reported to my family everything that has happened this semester. I wore my big fuzzy bathrobe around over my sweats and I was a happy woman. My mom was so thoughtful and asked me what I visioned for the weekend and bought lots of fruit, and salmon. I took a bath. I collapsed on the couches. I talked. They listened. They talked some which was very helpful. We laughed. I needed that.

My Mom went with me to my favorite coffee shop. We had afternoon coffee, read some great books, and had deep conversation. I am so blessed to have such a giving mother who is such a godly woman and is so filled with experiences and wise words.

Saturday night we celebrated Valentines day. We were given our gift baskets from the college mom's group that spoils us so well. Candy, food, post-its, Starbucks etc. My Dad got me a wonderful journal that made me cry. I love it! I am so thankful for all the love in my family and from others who pray for me.

In this picture you can see the arm of my fuzzy, fat, bathrobe, the wonderful fruit, my sweet journal, and the gift basket. Such a great weekend. It was a beautiful time to be "un-plugged" to rest and to retreat.

Another video

I am going to make a very strong statement by saying that Kari Jobe is the Taylor Swift for Christian women. I say this because her songs keep speaking to me right where I am at. Don't get me wrong I love Taylor Swift and I think Christian women can listen to TSwift. I sure do and with most of her songs there is someone that it reminds me of or a situation it reminds me of in my own life. But Kari Jobe sings about things of a deeper matter. And speaks such intense truth.

So here is the song that I needed for today. 

I feel...

I feel insecure. Today. This week. This month. Recently. I feel tired and weak. I feel the constant need to pretend. I feel unheard and unappreciated. I think I have made some big mistakes recently and it hurts me that I am constantly hurting others. I feel like I find a new layer of confusion everyday. I feel far from myself. I feel like my best is not enough so why even strive for that. I know these are lies. I get that. I am fighting it. I know God is faithful...more than I can even fathom. He is good. I believe that. Right now. This moment. Is just harder than others.

I think just writing it out is helping me admit to myself that I am feeling. 

I can not wait to go home this weekend. This chance is coming at the perfect moment.

Do not bring up this blog post as a reason to talk to me or ask me how I am. I am fine. I am healthy. I don't want to talk. I need to think and process and be left alone. Sometimes healing hurts.

SB46

Well. I guess it is the Super Bowl today. Indy is hosting...so I suppose it is supposed to feel closer yet it really does not.  Here is my dumb girl knowledge. The Giants and the Patriots are playing. The Giants coach looks like a nice old man almost a grandfather figure who I would enjoy having a conversation with. The Patriots coach looks like a grumpy next door neighbor. The Patriots quarterback is Tom Brady. He is so good looking. Hands down. He is hot. Eli Manning, the qb for the Giants is also a good looking man but not near as hot as Tom Brady. So if the Giants win I will be happy for the coach. If the Patriots win I will be happy for Tom Brady.

In the Indianapolis area IWU has the last commercial before National coverage takes over or something like that. I think that is pretty sweet.
 http://iwublog.indwes.edu/bid/121120/IWU-Fills-Pregame-Ad-Space-in-Super-Bowl-XLVI-s-Hometown

For my class Media & Society we are encouraged to watch the commercials for homework. I am a fan of that. If you think about it it is such a media filled event and our whole society is so involved. I think it is so interesting how many people watch the Super Bowl. Our culture is so strange sometimes.

I think it is pretty neat that the weather is so great. People could really play a little backyard or (NoSo) football today.

Why didn't I write this?

Wish it could be easy
Why is life so messy  
Why is pain a part of us
There are days I feel like Nothing ever goes right
Sometimes it just hurts so much

But You're here You're real I know I can trust You
Even when it hurts
Even when it's hard
Even when it all just falls apart
I will run to You Cause I know that You are Lover of my soul
Healer of my scars  
You steady my heart

I'm not gonna worry  
I know that You got me Right inside the palm of your hand
Each and every moment
What's good and what gets broken  
Happens just the way that You plan

And I will run to You  
You're my refuge in Your arms And I will sing to 
You Cause of everything You are
You steady my heart.

 KARI JOBE - STEADY MY HEART LYRICS